Two funny things said by Moberg daughters today (well, Sunday, that is):
- Suzanna was charged with putting away her clean, folded laundry. After struggling to cram it all into her already-packed-tight dresser drawers, she told Susan, "Mom, either I need to start wearing more clothes, or you need to stop washing, because my drawers are getting too full." (Is that last part another way of saying that she's getting too big for her britches?!)
- After having been tucked in tonight (well, Sunday night), Hillary was out of bed several times (before finally falling asleep around 10:30 P.M.). Once, she prefaced her arrival in the living room (where I was reading) with, "Something horrible has happened." The something horrible turned out to be the premature ringing of Suzanna's alarm clock, which Hillary brought to me to silence it. She turned to go back downstairs (she's camping out on Abigail's bedroom floor) the direction she came up--through the office--then changed her mind and made for the kitchen route back to the stairs. She glanced at me long enough to hold up her hand and explain, "I'm just going to go in a circle." Yes, of course you are.
It seems that no matter what type of alarm/radio/any other kind of wake up sound it is . . . it always seems to invoke horror. Even though this event happened prematurely. But with the regular wakeups, it's a horrible sound. It's all good once you get out of bed, but just the initial feeling after hearing that sound.
ReplyDeleteWhat sound could make having to drag yourself out of bed happier?
Hmmm . . . well for me, maybe if my alarm clock could be like my cell phone, I can record sounds. I would get some techno song, then lace in some rap lyrics provided by myself. Yeah! And then once I hear that when I wake up, the sheer embarrassment will make me happy to make the best of the day to make up for that horrible mistake.
Pablo
I like the way your mind works. Or, I'm intrigued by it. Or mystified by it. Well, your mind is working, and I like that.
ReplyDeleteI would like my alarm clock to have a warm, sandpapery tongue and cold paws like a kitten, and to use those items on my face to nudge me gently into consciousness. Or it could have an apparatus that reaches out and softly grasps me by the shoulders, shaking me delicately as my mom used to do. A tactile alarm clock.
Or my alarm clock could emit odors, such as baking apple pie or the inside of a vanilla bean pod. Although I've heard that our sense of smell is disabled when we're asleep--that's why sleeping people don't smell smoke when their house is on fire. I don't know if that's true, but if it is, it blows my idea for an olfactory alarm clock right out of the water, I guess.
Or, you could record yourself performing rap lyrics and set my alarm clock to broadcast your melodious renditions for me when it's time to awake in the morning.
All of these seem equally non-horrible ways to wake up.
I think I, too, shall start shouting, "No, never!" at people whenever they speak to me. Have you ever read the story "Bartleby, the Scrivener" by Herman Melville? In it there is a character who responds to every directive from his boss with, "I would prefer not to." That's another great phrase if you're looking for one to use in random situations.
ReplyDeleteAt McDonald's: "Are you ready to order, sir?" "I would prefer not to."
With a traffic cop: "Show me your license and registration." "I would prefer not to."
Or use "No, never!" in either of those situations, too, with humorous results.